Harry

I hope you’ll all forgive me as I veer from my normal DIY posts to something much more personal. I’ve always been a person who has written about her life and have grown from “Dear Diary” to sharing my life with all of you. Sharing this will be one of the hardest journal entries I have ever written but feels like one of the most important I’ll ever write.

I want you all to meet my Great Uncle Harry. The term “great” uncle could not be more appropriate for him.

His smile lights me up. His laugh is infectious. He has come to embody kindness, wisdom and family for me. While the young niece is supposed to have her uncle wrapped around her finger. I’m completely wrapped around his.

This man… Honestly, I wouldn’t exist without him. He and my dad worked together and became fast friends. He invited my dad to a party where he introduced my dad to my mom. The rest, as they say, is history. A few short weeks later, my parents were engaged. I’m fairly certain that’s exactly what he and my Aunt Annie hoped would happen. Clearly, they were skilled matchmakers.

I just don’t know if I can ever really express how much an influence he has had on my life. His kids were my first best friends in life.

When we were little, we spent a lot of time together. We camped a lot: in cottages and tents. We went to Mohican, Hocking Hills, Wampler’s Lake, Devil’s Lake and countless other camp sites in between. (That’s me as a tiny tot.)

I remember bunk bed cots, picnic tables, star-gazing, a pop up camper and a tent that smelled like a stifling hot summer. I remember the smell of coffee over a Coleman stove and the sound of Uncle Harry’s Zippo lighter opening and closing as he’d light up a stogie.

The smell of cigars will forever be entangled with the love of this wonderful man. We hiked. We camped. Most of all, we bonded. These trips were the foundation of our family and some of my fondest memories growing up.

He’s always been there. When my first marriage crumbled, he invited me camping. It was a way of reconnecting with who I was before. It was safety and love and frankly, a lot of fun with my family.

When I was dating Andy, we went to my cousin’s wedding in Put-in-Bay. The cottage was crowded. Andy joked that my family stacks like cord wood. He was right. We had 6 adults and I think 5 kids in a one bedroom cottage. With that kind of crowd, it was no surprise that Harry and Andy ended up on the porch. They talked for hours. I knew then that I had a good man on my hands. My uncle told me so the next morning. With my dad gone, that blessing meant the world to both of us. I’m not sure I’d have married Andy without it.

He and his wife, my Aunt Annie, have been inseparable as long as I’ve known them. She grounded him. He made her laugh.

Harry and Annie go together like peas and carrots or peanut butter and jelly. They are one of the most perfect pairings God ever intended.

I know they aren’t really perfect. I’m sure their marriage had tough days. Doesn’t matter. They never made a fuss, no drama. They just did what they needed to do. They are the salt of the Earth.

The thing about my uncle is that he, just simply, is a great guy. I can’t imagine anyone ever disliked him. I mean… Did you see his smile?

He joined the marines to fight in the war, before he was really old enough to do so. He never sought attention for that fact and preferred to never discuss the war. I’m sure war has its effects on a man. Regardless of those effects, my uncle’s heart was never hardened. His kindness always prevailed.

He raised 3 great kids. All 3 bear his sense of humor and love of family.

He has 4 grandkids who are blessed to have the best granddad ever and each carry a bit of him in their souls.

The love in that family knows no bounds. To be around it warms your heart. To be part of it is truly one of life’s greatest blessings.

You see, my uncle is nearing the end of his journey. He’s reached a ripe, old age and frankly has accepted his mortality. It’s beautiful, really. I lost my dad to a long, drawn out illness. It was hard on all of us. He wasn’t himself and it was a hard journey. It wasn’t a great way to go. I lost my stepdad quickly. One day he was here, the next he was gone. The shock of that was epic. That wasn’t a great way to go, either. But my uncle… He is leaving us in the most beautiful way—even if our hearts our breaking, even if it feels unbearable.

He’s saying his goodbyes but isn’t fading into an awful illness. He’s simply recognizing that it’s time to go. When I visited him a few weeks ago, I was blessed to have some time alone with him. We talked about the word games he loves, learning to use a tablet, how his family is fussing too much. Then, he talked about more serious things… Things, I wasn’t ready to hear.

He said he was grateful for his life. He said he couldn’t have asked to be put into a more loving family. He was okay with going. Can you imagine accepting your life and the end of it? No regrets. There is peace and comfort in that. While I am nowhere near ready to live in a world without Harry Bailey, I am in awe of his strength, his love, his guidance, his example and his ability to face the end of his life with grace and dignity.

When I left him that day, I kissed his sweet cheek. I took an extra long look at him and my heart ached to its core. The world is losing a great man. They don’t make them like him anymore. He is a man of few words who lives his life with kindness and humor. He didn’t need attention. His gratification came from his family and a steadfast life and he’s leaving this world completely gratified. We’d all do so much better if we followed his lead. It’s a life well lived.